Kenny Folarin, Abuja
The issue of infidelity in relationships/marriages has eaten deep in the fabrics of our society with no apologies to personality, tribe, religion or class.
Nigerians are known to be highly love-sick with each other in respect to nationality irrespective of our numerous challenges, with over-average percentage of the population highly sociable and full of vibes to enjoy life, every weekend is always associated with one parties or the other, “Owanbe” , weddings especially.
Despite the glitz and glamour of weddings, the honor, pride and respect that comes with marriages, Nigeria still records the highest number of divorce yearly due to one reasons or the other.
Sadly, the initial feeling of getting married and living happily ever after is gradually turning sour as the paternity of offspring are now being questioned, and as such the need for a DNA test.
DNA tests in recent times has brought about many revelations in marriages, causing or generating controversies and chaos globally Nigeria inclusive.
This trend, apart from its psychological, economic, mental and socio-cultural imbalance that it brings has turned many marriages into a nightmare.
This is mostly common in Nigeria among celebrities, social media influencers and even leaders of religious centres.
LEADING REPORTERS in a vox-pop over the weekend sort the views of well meaning Nigerians who outrightly concluded that DNA test is not a panacea to infidelity.
National Coordinator, Wellbeing Foundation Africa, Dr Otun Wale opined that Paternity DNA Test will/can never be solution to curbing infidelity.
According to Dr. Wale, Cheating in relationships/marriage is a matter of individual choice which definitely comes with consequences to the party involve even the innocent child resulting from such act.
Explaining further, he said the test only exposes women who have cheated to the point of pregnant and birthing for another man, many women engage in infidelity and are careful/lucky enough not to get pregnant, some get pregnant but abort the pregnancy.
“The high rate of infidelity in our society is simply a reflection of the religio-sociocultural decadence, and so, until these elements are fixed, the problem is no where near reducing or ending”. Dr Wale asserted.
Miss Oyeyinka Oluwayemisi on her part noted that DNA test doesn’t solve the above problems’ rather it serves as evidence or proof of infidelity.
Oluwayemisi noted that DNA isn’t the solution’ it only serve as a threat to family’s commitment.
She however highlighted solutions to infidelity in relationships/marriages such as Practicing gratitude, concentrate one each other’s feelings, Clarify your purpose and develop a deeper level of emotional intimacy. …
Others include doing things together, form a vision of the past and the future while Revisiting their beginning always cum couples’ therapy which can help address dissatisfaction in marriages
She added that therapy may also address negative feelings that may be suppressed. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) could help you work through sex addiction. If you are tempted to engage in infidelity, it may help to be honest about it.
“In conclusion’ DNA isn’t the solution”. Oluwayemisi said.
Anyebe Victor in his own view stated that in a committed relationship, we agree to give certain parts of ourselves to our partner.
When we flirt, we’re giving sexual interest and attention that only our partner should get to someone else which leads to infidelity.
It is a betrayal that poisons our relationship. These forms of betrayal often seem like little things on the surface and many times we easily dismiss them and finally wake up to its tales and woes, thus, a need for a DNA test.
Victor opined that whether the test turns out to be negative or positive, it is left in the hands of individuals involved to decide what they want to do or how they want to handle it but truth to told it has broken a lot of marriages.
As part of solutions, he suggested that intending couple should pray and fast to get a clear confirmation from God before saying, “I do” to anyone as God cannot give one a wrong choice.
Religious organizations should include a clause for intending couples to always do a DNA test before every new born baby dedication during their counseling as this will keep the women in check all times.
And if infidelity happens, couples should first of all seek the counsel of the church before making any decisions.
Intending couple should always commit their marriage/relationship into the hands of God. Study and pray together, so there won’t be a any room for the devil. ” The family that prays together, stays together “. He concluded.
Owoseni Joshua stated that the mistrust (infidelity) that led to taking a test has proven that most home have this trust issues which he will strongly agree to.
“you have a wife, blessed with kids, you’re rarely at home, got to a point where infidelity sets in, you had a chat with your wife, you made the suggestion, she totally busted out ranting, you went ahead with it anyways, you got the result you wanted and there it is.”
“There are possibilities of two things which are: you’re either the father or not but any which way, but the constant factor is majority of couples taking the test is out of mistrust which will leave the infidelity gap in the marriage forever either the results came matching or not.
“I will conclude on this note: is DNA test really the solution knowing fully well going ahead with it will create a loop between the couples… that answer is yet to be decided.
Meanwhile, Nutrition Officer, Yemisi Adegoke posits “Yes, DNA is the best solution to avoid costly argument”.
What now comes to mind rhetorically is with DNA test now in vogue, will trust still exist in relationships/marriages?
